The Lambda Literary Foundation’s Writers Retreat does make a difference…

The Lambda Literary Foundation’s Writers Retreat does make a difference…

Today I went in search of past LLF’s Emerging LGBT Voices writing fellows. My foray across the net landed me in Justin Torres’ weaved web of words. Having never ever met Torres, I viewed his vids and knew an immediate, tacit connection. The idea that he should apply to attend the retreat arrived on the lips of friends. It was the same for me, as one of my beloveds called me one morning, the final day of the application period, to share the glad tidings. Torres longed for direction on how to “make it” as a writer. I have, probably, more of an idea on how to do that, but I want my community of writers to share their insight with me on how to go about it from a number of different perspectives. Justin, upon receiving the opportunity, was broke and living in New York; I am temporarily financially challenged, although it feels as though the Divine and I need to chat in regards to quite how long “temporarily” is going to last.

Yet I get that last part; yes, I do.

You see, I have sat at the head of the table of life, have known plenty intimately, and so much so, until I starred in the “giving” role. My Academy Award is around here somewhere. 🙂 Right now, I am seated at another place at the table. Now I ask, and say, “Thank you. I am ever grateful.” Although it has never squelched my spirit to ask, for asking is the ying to the yang of receiving, it has caused me to reflect, to remain steeped in gratitude, to remain connected, however many times I want to flee the stage, and to know, profoundly, that “and this, too, will pass.” This season is a drifting circumstance, like clouds, never holding the same formation.

At the song’s end, I am of my parents and grandparents’ ilk. When the storm rises, I am a tree. A graceful pine, I bend, sway, lean, tickled to shimmy in the breeze, limbo hop when my leaves and branches sweep the ground, and, no matter what, come what may, straighten again…anyway. Truth ever shines. Same as I cannot fight water, I cannot slay the wind. Quite frankly, I’m not here to fight or slay. I’m here to experience the shifting nuances of my journey on this plane. I am here to love and be loved. I am here to feel, encounter and change, as the song says, “Everything must change. Nothing stays the same.” I’m good with all that and the above. No complaints. Simply, I rise ecstatic, grateful for another day to walk water and live my dream, to write my stories the way I know to write them.

Like Justin Torres, I have determined that writing I will do this time around. And as Dorothy Allison, the lesbian novelist Justin Torres alludes to in another video I enjoyed today, says (and I paraphrase now): It’s alright for young writers to want to tell their truth; they just need to do it beautifully. That, Beloveds, is precisely what I stretch to do: tell my truth and tell it artfully. Kinda sorta makes me think of primping in the mirror, when I prepare for the day’s spotlight. I am my truth and I ready myself to live that truth, but, believe me, I do what I do in an effort to be as beautiful as I can, inside and out. {Hey, I’m a fem or femme, as some of you may know, despite the voice in which I typically sling ink. 🙂 } But as for Beauty, she is the same with our stories or whatever art we create. If she could speak, I think she’d be of the mind: “If you’re slip shoddily doing whatever, then whatever you’re doing need not be done.”

And on that note, oh, oopsie! One more thing. Torres came away from his retreat experience, with his future, award-winning work, and made grand ripples in literature’s pool! Kudos! I, Beloveds, intend to do the same! Now…on that note, I take my leave, fading back into the sunshine of my day, with abundant gratitude for you, writing, the net, my pen and the Lambda Literary Foundation. Amen.

Besitos y Abracitos


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