Yes, I know. I’ve been on hiatus for so long hiatus may not be the most precise word. Vacation or the British term “holiday” might be better choices! No matter…it is lovely to be back. I remember writing a Facebook post once that essentially read: I’m going away to come again better than I was before. Yes, that’s it. I’m there once more, and I know it’s okay. Still. Perhaps it’s ongoing, actually. Every part of me sings out for repose. A Siren’s song. The older I get, the more I pause to heed it.
Last September, my blue lady, my Dell, slipped to her knees and beeped seven times before fainting and passing away. My heart sank but I woman-ed up. Remember? I blogged about it…somewhere. Anyway, the update is after waiting patiently for five months, my laptop returned with a busted keyboard, a missing delete key and a functioning mouse pad. Despite it all, I was grateful. My blue lady was elderly and heading, faster than I expected, straight to that great PC haven in the sky.
In acceptance, I eventually purchased this Lenovo and a nice Vlogging camera. Who-dee-whooo! You can imagine I’m tickled inside and very much proud of myself. Right about now, I’m reminding Claudia that tomorrow is another day, and if I want to be as fresh as a tulip come tomorrow, I should click the X, close this lid and dance straight into slumber.
Truth be told, my writing/web furlough cloaked me in newness. In a deep-seated appreciation. I see things I didn’t see before or things I was beginning not to want to see anymore. For example, I was questioning myself, “Why blog, Claudia?” I pondered the time it cajoled from my “real” writing, the writing that just might, prayerfully, pay the bills and send me on round-the-world trips into Eat Love Pray print and footage. But now that I am Present, I can answer myself. Hurling myself into a future moment causes pain, mental and physical. Fact is, last time I looked, I wasn’t tossing bills into the air and running under them in glee. I wasn’t packing my luggage—no, someone else wasn’t packing my bags, so that I could broad the jet, along with my traveling crew, as we set off on a New York Times-worthy adventure.
I’m right where I am. Doing what I’m doing, and from this very seat before these singing Lenovo keys, I will write my runway to wherever the next moment will be. Oh yes. The reprieve from writing and the web took me by the hand and walked me back to my prior practice of meditation. After this post, I’m heading to the sofa, where I’ll sit cross legged, thumb to forefinger, eyes closed and meditate, emptying my mind. It’s perspective for me. The more Light and Consciousness I welcome, as I’ve been reminding myself and my Twitter Family, the more I can better breathe in “Wanting for nothing…attracts everything,” as Russell Simmons said on OWN’s Super Soul Sunday, last Sunday. I’m not living in a mindset of lack. I’m remembering to daydream and visualize. Period.
So thank you for continuing to join me on this journey! I appreciate all of us, known and undisclosed, who follow this blog. You help to make my circle complete. C’mon. You know us writers gotta write. And readers gotta read. And we must learn to bow to reading one another, regardless of our backgrounds and other lines of demarcation. We are one.
Wait. What am I up to?
I’m editing my narrative for my anthology, TO HONOR THE HEART. The English teacher within just won’t allow me to release my words after the fourth or fifth edit. A taskmistress, she demands that I comb and rack, brush and style, flip and dip, and heat and repeat. I don’t mind really. I’m charmed the submissions continue to trickle in. Like I wrote before, it’s a ponderous topic and survivors learn to stand tall, strong and invincible under its yoke, until it is no longer a yoke but a platform.
I’m returning to fiction that has long awaited my loving stroke. Thus I must give it, for it is my “sweet work,” as bell hooks writes, “my right livelihood.” I believe. I believe in me. I believe in the healing essence of words.
Therefore, I leave you mine for now. And the music in my smile. Buenas noches!
Oh, I forgot to share a few Alabama scenes of my trip home recently! Enjoy! They don’t call the state Alabama, the Beautiful for nada!